Laurie R. King

Award-winning, bestselling, thought-provoking mysteries

LAURIE'S NEWSLETTER

Noel

by 88 Comments

My husband Noel died yesterday.  Many of you were aware that he was ill for a very long time, following a 2006 stroke and then cancer diagnosis, and anyone who has had a loved one linger will understand that the sorrow is strongly colored with relief.

It is odd, but somehow appropriate as well, to have his death come on the same day that our Mary Russell project, “Fifteen Weeks of Bees”, opened on the web site. Noel was always somewhat puzzled by my commitment to fiction–he being a true academic of the Oxford variety–but remained proud of my books.  He would have been deeply amused by having his death caught up in a celebration of his wife’s work.

I want to say a thanks, to everyone who has supported me during these years.  This includes those of you who bought my books, enabling me to keep a roof over my husband’s head and several creative and loving caregivers at close hand, as well as those committed friends who have taken various aspects of Fifteen Weeks, from Goodreads to Twitter, and run with them.

Today is sadness.  Tomorrow we turn our face to joy.

Thank you all.

Comments

  1. Laurie,
    I feel so deeply for you in your loss. It is indeed a confusion of emotions, and will remain so for a while. There are many of us “ordinaries” out here who consider you a friend, and who are thinking of you lovingly.
    The first book of yours that I ever read was “Folly”, and I read it following my own husband’s death and a trip to the San Juan Islands. The impact on me, and my attitude, was both alarming and healing. In appreciation, I have purchased hardbacks of all your books since then and found that you always speak to me. I am thankful for your gift and for your labor which make such books possible.
    Hold on. Keep the faith.
    Sincerely,
    Sylvia Johnston

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  2. I am so sorry. Long suffering does not make this less a moment to say that letting go of a life is sad.

    If there is anything I can do, let me know.

    — F

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  3. Oh Laurie, my heart goes out to you and the family. I didn’t know of his illness but I do understand both the sorrow and the relief. My partner Pat is a hospice nurse and January has been full of death and dying for her and for us. A window closing and an opened door now for you… take care. HN

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  6. Laurie, I will be holding you and Noel in the light today. I am sorry to hear of your loss, and very, very glad you felt comfortable sharing it with us here.

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  7. I am very very sorry for your loss.

    Your books have helped me through some difficult times in my own life, and I’m sorry I can’t do more here than wish you well, and keep you in my thoughts.

    Emily (a random Fan)

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  9. Laurie,

    My deepest sympathies to you and your family and your circle of friends.

    Please take good care of yourself and let those who love you take good care of you, too.

    Whatever we in your very extended circle can do for you, you need only ask.

    –Marjorie

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  10. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some comfort in support from strangers who love your work and your personal sharing on the blog over the years. What a year this has been for you and your family. Sending you strength.

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  11. Ms. King, please accept my deepest sympathy and that from the members of the Letters of Mary Yahoo group. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers during the coming weeks.

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  12. I’m so very sorry for your loss today. Even though I never met your husband, I always enjoyed reading your comments about him, particularly regarding his help with GAME. My thoughts are with you.

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  13. Laurie,

    I know that words can do little to ease the pain at a time like this, but perhaps the fact that you have many, many friends out here thinking about you will help a little. As someone else said above, your books have taken me through difficult times in my life, and brightened it as well, and so you and your family are in my heart today. Merrily

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  14. I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss. May the knowledge that you and your family will be in the thoughts and prayers of many of your readers be of comfort to at this time.

    Jean

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  16. Sometimes when there are no words that fit or feel right; I turn to my books and papers. This poem was given to me on the death of my Mother.

    Do not stand at my grave and weep.
    I am not there. I do not sleep.
    I am a thousand winds that blow.
    I am the diamond glints on the snow.
    I am the sunlight on ripended grain.
    I am the gentle sutumn rain.
    When you awaken in the mornings hush,
    I am the swift uplifing rush
    of quite birds in circling flight.
    I am the soft star shines at night.
    Do not stand at my grave and cry.
    I am not there. I did not die.

    My heart goes out to you.
    Sandy

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  18. I don’t comment on your blog very often but I’ve been a big fan of your books for years (and just yesterday sent my roommate a link to the first two chapters of Beekeeper’s Apprentice in an attempt to make another convert). I’m so very, very sorry for you loss. You’ll be in a lot of people’s thoughts today.

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  20. I am so very sorry for your loss, Laurie. While we do not know each other, we do share one thing – husbands with the unusual and beautiful name of Noel. I, and he, will be thinking of you and your family.

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  21. Your words have brought such joy to my life. I cannot begin to express my sorrow for your loss with the same eloquence, but know that my thoughts are with you.

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  22. Dear Laurie–I was deeply shocked and saddened to hear of your husband’s death. I had not heard anything about his illness. However, having served as my father’s primary caregiver during his final illness (cancer of the esophagus–he died almost exactly 30 years ago), I know only too well the feelings you describe in your blog. Reading of your husband’s death, and the circumstances involved, made me wince as I realized what you have been, and still are, going through. My heartfelt condolences go out to you and your family at this sad time in your lives.

    If I may be so bold, there are three musical selections which I feel would be appropriate for you and yours to listen to during this sad period of adjustment. First of these is “If Thou Be Near,” from the Anna Magdalena Bach Notebook of 1725. Next is “Let Nothing Ever Grieve Thee,” opus 30, By Johannes Brahms. Last, but not least, is Virgil Fox’s sublime organ transcription of “Come, Sweetest Death,” BWV 478, by J. S. Bach. (There are several recordings of this piece available commercially, and at least one performance by the late Mr. Fox himself on YouTube.)

    Again, my sincere condolences to you and yours. You will all be in my prayers during this sad time, and the period of adjustment that lies ahead.

    Sincerely,
    Tom Nichol

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  23. Oh. Oh my goodness. The past few months haven’t been good to many people, have they? My grandfather died rather suddenly in December, and my chorus teacher later went out for the death of her child. Your cat died, and now your husband. The void seems terrible. I can’t empathize, but I’ll offer my deepest sympathies, and I give you my greatest wishes for your pain to somehow be lessened. The strength of those who’s loved one’s have died holds me in awe. My grandmother, my mother, standing silent in the church. My teacher, calmly explaining that it’s all over now, but it doesn’t matter that “she can have another baby”. You can’t replace a human. She said all this without a shaking voice or a tear. Your love for your husband is evident, and you’re not asking yourself “why?”, you think of his reaction with a smile, and remember the good times. I take my hat off to you. Not only that, I give it to you.

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  25. Laurie —

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope it helps that you have a large community of friends out here praying for you and your family.

    Betsy

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  26. Dear Laurie, I am so very sorry for your loss. And I do understand profoundly the part about tinged with relief. But, oh my goodness. Please accept as much as you can the condolences from your wonderful children and extended family and friends. More prayers your direction, now and for days to come. Meredith

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  27. My very dear new sister,

    I’ve just read of this and don’t know what to say. Of course my prayers and best wishes will be with you and your family. That seems such an inadequate thing to say at such a time as this, though. What one really wants to do in these times is have some superhero abilities that enable them to take their loved one in their arms and make all the hurt vanish while replacing every negative thought with only happiness and joy. Barring the off chance that I may suddenly acquire these super abilities, I’ll just say that if there is anything else we can do over the next months, let us know.

    Caitlin is, as usual, reading over my shoulder and wishes me to send her hugs to Auntie Laurie and Zoe.

    Nikki

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  28. Laurie,

    I am so sorry. I find no better, or smarter, or helpful-er words. I am just so sorry. Peace, and comfort to you and yours,

    Sara

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  29. My deepest sympathies. For some reason, while I was talking to some friends yesterday about your new book, I remembered hearing the your husband had been ill a couple of years ago. I was hoping he was doing better; and perhaps now he is. You’ll be in my thoughts.

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  30. Dear Laurie,

    I am so saddened to hear about your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family. I know it is difficult to lose a loved one, but know that you are not alone and that you have many “virtual” folks who are praying for you and whose thoughts are with you.

    I had inquired about your husband and recently you had stated he was not in pain. I hope this was true these past few days. I lost my mother-in-law three years ago today. It has comforted me to know she wasn’t alone and that she was not in pain.

    I am glad that he was happy and amused at the end.

    Once again our thoughts and prayers are with you and if you need anything, we are all here.

    Warm regards and hugs,
    C

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  33. Though you don’t know me from the thousands of others who follow your works, I send my deepest condolences and prayers to you. I only hope you will feel all the love in the world these next dozen months or so.

    Again, I am so sorry for this sadness. I pray all will be well with you and your family.

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  34. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. My prayers and well-wishing extends to you and all your family and friends. I am but one of thousands of readers, but I do hope all will go well and that these upcoming months will be filled with both times of solitude and times of raucous activity, times of peaceful sleep and times of remembering. Shalom, dear Laurie!

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  38. Laurie,
    I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family during this rough time.

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  41. Dear Mrs King,
    you are in my thoughts.
    You have given us so much joy with your books, may that joy transform into love and surround you and your family in this difficult time.

    All my very best wishes
    mc

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  42. Laurie,
    I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I too have loved your books for years, ever since you stole my heart with Beekeepers’ Apprentice. I was sad to hear of his stroke and illness, and hope you will have the support you need at this time. At least he is at peace now, and I hope you and your family will find peace and solace together. Hugs and prayers to you all.

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  43. My condolences to you and your family. At a time like this words are such a small thing to offer, but they are from the heart. May you find find some strength and succor from the knowledge that you have helped so many of us through our own difficult times.

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  45. Laurie:

    You and your family are in my heart and prayers.

    You have many friends in this community you have created through the gift of your words and, whatever we can do for you, you have only to ask.

    Respectfully,
    Roxanne

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  46. For today:
    St. John Chrysostom (347-381 A.D.) once wrote: “Those whom we have loved and lost are no longer where they were before. They are now wherever we are.”

    And save this to read later in the month:
    “An Affirmation for Those Who Have Lost,” by James E. Miller: “I believe there is no denying it; it hurts to lose. It hurts to lose a cherished relationship with another, or a significant part of one’s self. It can hurt to lose that which has united one with the past or that which has beckoned one into the future. It is painful to feel diminished or abandoned, to be left behind of left alone. Yet, I believe there is more to losing than just the hurt and the pain. For there are other experiences that loss can call forth. I believe that courage often appears, however quietly it is expressed, however easily it goes unnoticed by others: the courage to be strong enough to surrender, the fortitude to be firm enough to be flexible. I believe a time of loss can be a time of learning unlike any other, and that it can teach some of life’s most valuable lessons. In the act of losing there is something to be found. In the act of letting go, there is something to be grasped. In the act of saying ‘Goodbye’ there is a hello to be heard. For I believe living with loss is about beginnings as well as endings. And grieving is a matter of life more than death. And growing is a matter of mind and heart and soul more than of time. Finally, I believe in the promising paradoxes of loss. In the midst of darkness, there can be great light; at the bottom of despair, there can appear a great hope; and deep within loneliness, there can dwell a great love. I believe these things because others have shown the way – others who lost and have then found new meaning. So I know I am not alone: I am accompanied, day after day, night after day.”

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  49. Laurie, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Sending thoughts and prayers your way. While I was unaware of your husband’s illness, I can understand as my grandmother passed away from cancer last September after a long 2 year battle. May Noel rest in peace. God Bless.

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  51. Laurie, I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope you are all right. And I am so grateful for all you’ve written. I like how you have taken a grain of happiness out of the loss and used it to shine light on us all.

    Thanks.

    Teresa

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  52. Laurie my dear, how sad and not-sad this news is. I’ve marveled for a long time that you worked so well while also your beloved Noel needed such care and attention. It’s good you had plenty of loving help over the long time of his illness. From my own experience with a son who eventually died of cancer, I know also that having your work to do was likely a saving grace. I mourn Noel’s death, and celebrate you.

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  53. Sorrow and relief; I very much understand the complexity of those two emotions being comingled. We are thinking of you during this difficult time.

    Kim (the mom) and Ryan (the son – 13) both Mary Russell fans

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  55. Laurie, my deepest condolences. I’m glad the easy task of buying your books has been of service to you. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

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  56. Blessings and peace to you and your family during this sad time. And how good that you had the blessings of your work (and of our appreciation of it!) during the hard times as Noel’s health went downhill and you had to provide such a lot of care.

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  58. Laurie, I am so sorry for your loss. With the loss of a loved one, I’ve discovered that life becomes divided up into “before” and “after.” One day I hope you will be able to remember the “before” with a smile yet still find joy the “after.”
    Be good to yourself. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Lizanne (and daughter, Anna, who is also a huge Mary Russell fan)

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  59. I’m so sorry! Thank you for your books (I’ve read ’em all) and for your blog. There is a beautiful book of poems by Moira Linehan (who lives in Massachusetts, my part of the world) called “If No Moon” about her process through grief after her husband died after a long illness.

    In the Keep of the Body

    Those preparing the body for the journey—
    the one that begins in water, a barque
    bringing it to the west bank of the Nile,
    there to begin the journey that follows
    the setting sun, its 12-hour pursuit of night—
    first work a hook into the passageway
    of the nose to draw down the brain (no use,

    they believe, in this life, so none imaginable
    hereafter). Next, the body turned on its side,
    they cut an opening, reach in and take out
    the organs. These the body will need again,
    so these they preserve in canopic jars.
    Each organ they remove except the heart.
    The heart they leave in the keep of the body.

    They leave the heart in the keep of the body
    which they dry with salt. Seventy days it takes
    to dry. Seventy days those left behind wait
    before they fill it with spices, wrap it
    in linen—the body with its companion
    canopic jars, at last ready to embark.

    Grief, meanwhile, has lost no time going to work
    on the lover left behind, draining her,
    then ferrying her to a desiccated place.
    In dreams, already she is Isis, each night
    finding her husband, one dismembered piece
    at a time. Each piece she finds she re-buries.
    Each night she fails to find all of him.

    Crows

    Whoever said Straight as a crow flies
    never saw the crows in my back yard

    zigzag tree to rock wall, garage roof, shrieking
    back to wall, branch, gutter, crosshatching the air

    in a fury of streaks. Try reading those lines
    for a sense of the world, the heart’s weight,

    what keeps you up in the air, keeps you going
    back to where you’ve just come from. Force-field

    around me, below me, this house my husband
    died in and left me years ago now, rooms

    I still crisscross, pulled as I am by something
    in the earth’s depths, or maybe much closer:

    his body buried two streets away, or those desires
    that surfaced screeching, flying every which way

    the months he was dying. Just when I think they’re gone,
    they’re back en masse in swoops, shrill as ever.

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  63. Dear Mrs. King,

    Noel was a light, a beacon, a bastion of safety, love, and learning, and I will miss him.

    He was one of my thesis advisors, and delivered the commencement address at my graduation from Merrill in 1974, and I’ve cherished his concise advice to the new graduates ever since:

    “Seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God – however you may find Him.”

    I am blessed to have known the man.

    Though we’ve never met, my thoughts are with you.

    Bruce Mullen

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  64. I am so sorry for your loss. May you remember the happy times. I too understand the mixed emotions, with the passing of my Mother this summer after her long illness. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  68. My deepest condolences. I hope the current celebration of your work, as well as the support of all your supporters, brings you comfort in this difficult time.

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  71. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. Your books brought me great solace through my mother’s terminal illness – for which I will always be grateful. I hope you have something to help you through as well.

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  73. Dearest Laurie,
    How transcendent, to be going through a bad patch myself, and to have picked up “Touchstone”, and be revelling in its language and complex plotting, saying to myself “I just have to shout to Laurie, How wonderful this is, and how uniquely amazing her talent is”, and thank her for it.
    So, in the midst of such uplift for me, I go online and find such sadness for you, at the same time.
    Those of us who have experienced the long illness of loved ones, well understand your gratitude that it’s over. But that only lightly tempers the loss. Now he is in a worry-free place in your heart.
    And you are in a special place in ours. Much Love, Jorie

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  74. My very deep sympathies on your loss. Your occasional comments in your blog made me think very much of my father (who died from cancer himself, when I was 15, when my parents had been married for 30+ years.)

    Thinking of you at this time – and ongoing – and of everyone else who knew him and misses him. May you all have all the support you need.

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  75. My thoughts are with you, and I hope you & your family find comfort. To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.

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  77. It’s a heavy thing, to be free of the need/privilege to watch and care for a dear soul whose gradual passing from this world has been completed. I’m sorry that Noel is gone, Laurie; sorry for you that you and your wonderful children are missing him, sorry for all of us who thought the world of him from afar and never got to meet him. May many blessings attend you and the whole family, here and abroad, during this time of saying goodbye.

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  79. My deepest condolences. Dr. King was a luminous teacher and a great man. Thank you for so generously sharing your journey. My thoughts are with you.

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  80. Laurie,

    after revelling in the tidbits from “The Language of Bees”, I was shocked and sad to read the news about your husband’s death. It seems so strange and unfair that the world has changed so much for you with this day while it remains basically the same for so many other people out there. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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  81. Some urge to say publicly things I know you already know inspires this. Noel was a touchstone indeed for me, in many ways and through assorted times. So, too, you and your writing. You have my love and Pat’s to go with the outpourings from your fans and friends.

    -ms

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  82. Someone close to me who cared for Noel in his last years, and cried to me when learning of his death said; “He had the light of God in his face”.

    My prayers are with you and your family, Laurie

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  85. I’m so sorry for your loss. Prayers and peace to you these days and in the days ahead. Much love and support is headed your way, as evidenced by the comments here. May you be held by that.

    Lauren

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  88. My condolences on your loss. I have spent a good portion of this evening reading through the posts on the memorial website. Your husband touched many lives and lives in their hearts forever. I only wish that I had had the opportunity to meet this amazing man. What a legacy to leave behind. The world is a better place because he once lived here.

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